The Operation. Videos 1&2 Inside.

Never in my life did I think I would own a gold bar. Let alone cut myself open and implant one under my skin. Though, it is the safest place for it. But, I must confess, it is surprisingly disturbing that literally Everyone's first question is asking what if someone tries to cut it out of me and take it. Good luck. If you Do manage to kill me, thank you. If you manage to cut off my arm, I already have several ideas for a prosthetic with hidden tech and weapons.

I started investing in Gold when trump and elon were saying Fort Knox was empty. I knew one way or another, trump had money in gold and was going to make the price skyrocket. Whether through false manipulation, or crashing the economy because he's incompetent.

When I first saw the PAMP Suisse Lady of Fortune, I was awestruck. It's absolutely beautiful. Elegant with subtle details. I thought it would make an incredible tattoo. But just getting a tattoo of a gold bar is... Lame. Then I had the idea. IMPLANT a gold bar and get it tattooed in 3D. And I would be the first person to do it. Done. I ordered a 1 oz bar. I hate the new UPS. Eventually I had it shipped to my work. Got it. ...It's pretty small. Too small for a good tattoo. Even for Estee. Also, it's only $3K. The tattoo is going to be at least a $G total. Alright, I need a bigger one. $10K for 100 Grams?? (Now it's worth over $14K+. I have appreciated $4K in just a few months) It's really not a whole lot larger, but it's WAY THICKER. THICC. Fuck it, it's just big enough and it's Baller.

   If I'm ever SOL and need cash, I can cut it out and use the funds to rescue myself and whoever I'm with. Especially if we're in a jam in a foreign country and need to get out of Dodge. I started working when I was 15.5, shoveling weeds out of the driveway of the Collision Repair shop that I would soon be working inside for $7 an hour. It was above 100°F several days that first week. I think they were testing my resolve. No way I was going to quit. That word isn't in my vocabulary. Four years later, with several refined skills, I packed 3 bags, hopped on a flight with $5K to my name, and moved to Washington. I slept in the trees without even a tent for the first week. It was a month before I got a roof over my head. If worst comes to worst, I know this gold bar is enough to start from scratch, all over again. It's my last resort insurance policy.

After getting sliced at work and getting my thumb stitched back together, and getting a Vasectomy, I realized I could do a better job than any doctor or surgeon literally with one hand. And I did. And god knows how much money I saved. Though, I was so Focused on doing it Properly and Sterilizing the absolute Bejesus out of absolutely everything, that I completely forgot about numbing cream or pain killers. I thought about it literally the next day, Memorial Day. I cut myself open and severed at least 3 nerves completely cold turkey.

Our skin is surprisingly Thick and Tough. Getting the stitches through my skin was actually extremely difficult and obnoxious. It really didn't hurt at all, which was surprising.

The Entire Process has been considerably more involved than I anticipated. The operation itself took several hours. 4? The healing process was exceedingly painful for a few months. The back of the bar is right up against a nerve cluster and gravity enjoyed making them close friends the entire time it was healing.

Without the brace, the bar is trying to migrate down my arm. It's quite heavy. It's a lot of Gold. The brace is an afterthought dictated by necessity. The bar moves quite a lot without it, even fully healed. The brace will be a permanent fixture. 3D Printed Titanium bolted to my arm. No removing that quickly. Decorative Carbon or Titanium top plates. Glass on top of polycarbonate over the tattoo. Quite nearly indestructible. I'm currently refining it until it's perfect. That will be another post and video. The prototype has been excellent for any time I've needed it. Long days at work, hiking, running, punching bag, motorcycle riding. All stellar.

I can feel it 24/7. It's strange. The skin on top is completely numb, but it feels like I'm wearing a big watch. Speaking of which, since the advent of cell phones, I've thought expensive watches were the stupidest and most ostentatious thing you could buy and display. I'm all for the mechanical perfection that is a triple-axis tourbillion, but watches are gaudy and tasteless. Plus, any rich idiot can buy one. I hammered my own gold, performed my own operation, designed and engineered my own brace, cut out the decorative plates by hand, and bolted it all onto my own arm by myself. 1 out of 1.

And Why on Earth did I do it?

Because I can.

---